Ok, so I have missed writing, sharing the deepest parts of me on paper and, as I do, finding out that, somehow, the deepest parts of all of us are not so different after all… ok, it’s been 6 months. I am appalled, at myself, I guess, I’ll blame Lue :-
) There is so much I could write about. There is so much God has been doing in me as a new wife, in us as a new couple, in me, in us, in SO MANY areas. I guess I would say the theme of the past few months has been growth, for both of us. Growth is evidence of life and it’s exciting to see things grow, to grow…I still remember our honeymoon, counting how many DAYS we’d been married, calling each other husband and wife, writing ‘Zinty Ncube’ instead of ‘Zinty Chasusa’, moving into our first home and unpacking, making my first meal for my husband, going to a high school to minister together for the first time as a married couple, writing songs together, leading the ’band’ together, sharing our dreams, goals, passions, ideas, having our first guest over in our new home, painting our home(quite a few times!:-)), making new friends as a married couple, going to the Couple’s Retreat after just 3 months of marriage, having both our sisters visit us form Swaziland and Zambia, hosting the ‘Swazi team’ for a couple days, family get-togethers, planning events for our young adults group, watching 24 til 3 am, learning about each other and LOVING IT!!!!... growth is also painful…PAIN…a month or so back I had the MOST PAINFUL migraine headache. Oh, it hurt so bad and the more I tried to do something about it, the more it hurt. Lue advised me to just lay still on my back. After a while of resisting:-), I did. Eventually I fell asleep. I woke up in the morning to some mild pain, but it was MUCH BETTER and bearable! The lesson: when in pain, lay still, be still, REST! Of course, if you are like me or any other normal human being:-), you are like, ‘what the heck, that’s the hardest thing to do when you’re in pain!’ I agree. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Tossing, turning, and all kinds of moving around won’t help. It didn’t help me when I tossed and turned my mind to try and ‘figure out’, ‘fix’ or even ‘change’ things. It just made the pain worse… It’s painful to learn that you are not as ‘perfect’ as you thought as marriage ‘exposes’ you, it’s painful to stop arguing when you could easily ‘win’ the argument if you just kept going, it’s painful to say ‘I’m sorry’ about the same thing for the hundredth time, it’s painful to miss family, friends and all that’s familiar, it’s painful to ‘let go’ and fall flat on your face with no guarantee of rising again, it’s painful to give up what you thought was your purpose, it’s painful to lose…but if you just lay still, be still, REST(in Him), soon you would have fallen asleep( in Him) and when you wake up, you’ll find that you have grown because we plant the seed, but IT IS GOD WHO CAUSES IT TO GROW, in His TIME, his WAY, with the AMOUNT OF PAIN THAT HE DEEMS NECESSARY…you can be sure HE WILL CAUSE IT TO GROW!!!